[Codo]

Als du geschrieben hast, dass du für deine Charaktere Tumblr Accounts eingerichtet hast, fühlte ich mich nicht mehr so seltsam, dass ich mal die gleiche Idee für Twitter hatte und dafür schon diverse Dialoge geschrieben habe.  
Die funktionieren teilweise auch nur da, und nicht als Comic.

RP (random person) / M (Mourose) / S (Slyth)

RP: How did you even convince him to not kill you?
M: Apparently I'm a xeno whisperer.
S: Huh?
M: (deep inhale) APPARENTLY I'M a nevermind


M: I should have never suggested Twitter. This is like catnip to him.
S: You created a monster
M: Go. To. Sleep.
S: Yes mom
M: Don't.

M: His vocalizations are very complex, but his voice is not designed for human communication.
S: That would also be weird
M: And twitter is not weird?
S:


RP: Do you also have a xeno name?
S: Yeah, it's [dial up modem sounds]

RP: What about using a speech synthesizer?
S: Also weird
M: Nooo, he'd abuse it! D:
S: aeiouaeiouaeiouaeiouaeiouaeiouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
M: See? 
S: Nobody can hear you aeiou in the space

[cybie]

RP: Do you also have a xeno name?
S: Yeah, it's [dial up modem sounds]

Das kann ich mir richtig vorstellen.

Schön, dass ich dafür verantwortlichen sein konnte, dass du dich nicht mehr so komisch fühlst. Ich hatte auch mal auf Twitter solche Accounts mit Amy und Smudi.

Hast du den Thread wieder aus der Galerie genommen?

[Codo]

Ja, ich hab's verschoben. Nachdem ich erst Mal herausfinden musste, wie das geht.  

Jetzt überlege ich ernsthaft, die Accounts zu machen. 
Allerdings würde das erst etwas später im Comic passieren, also würde es jetzt keinen Sinn machen. 
Abgesehen von meiner handvoll Leser kapiert das eh keiner.

Wie auch immer, hier sind noch ein paar. 

M: Behave around here.
S: Or what
M: I show them the video.
S: miscalculation of sofa edge distance -> loss of all dignity?
M: Yes.
S: Then I show it myself and continue to be naughty

S: I'm ready for the marathon
M: That wouldn't even be fair, if you ran backwards.
S: peem peem ZOOM
RP: What is a peem
M: meep meep (road runner honk) backwards
S: Already our minds are becoming one

M: Slyth in full speed / beast mode. The second half of the video contains some hunting footage.
S: I do it like they do on the discovery channel
M: Dude, you are discovery channel on mescaline.

S: Stealth is optional when your prey is slow as fuck
S: Or dumb as hell
M: You are one cocky little bitch, you know that?
S: And you like that
M: Nnfffffff....

RP: If you decided to turn against humanity, we would be lost, wouldn't we?
S: tbh the Bagger 288 might be of some serious concern
M: Aaaand that's enough internet for today, Slyth.

S: Me at 3 am: Must...stay...awake...uuurrrrgh I should sleep more
My brain at 2 pm: DOC DOC DOC DOC DOCTOR BEAT


S: It doesn't help to improve my habits that Mourose is not nocturnal
M: I'm usually at work all day. You were just watching youtube videos again.
S: But...but...what about weekends!
M: Excuses.
S: Dammit
M: It's quite comforting that humans are not the only species that struggles with impulse control
M: NO ACTUALLY IT'S NOT COMFORTING
S: I might be an idiot but I'm not a brute

[Codo]

So, die noch, und dann ist erst mal Schluss. Mehr geht auch gar nicht, weil das zu viel verraten würde.
Außerdem sollte ich auch mal malen.

S: g  a  f  F  c
S: g  a  f  F  c
S: g  a  f  F  c
S: g  a  f  F  c
S: g  a  f 
M: F!!!!!!! c!!!!!!!!!
S: Awwww I knew it would be you!
RP: Uh, is this some kind of code?
M: Translation: We watch too many movies.

M: With that many followers you are now officially your species' ambassador
S: Fuck

RP: That's your response to your newly found responsiblity...FUCK?
S: Sums up life
S: It's either fucking or FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!

M: Guess who is a cranky, whiny bitch today. -.-
RP:
S: Come on, I am never whiiIIIIineeeEEEEEeeeey
M: Probably because he broke his game controller in a childish act of frustration. After gaming for six hours straight and getting only two hours of sleep. And not having done any real hunting in days.
M: I'm so fucking done right now.
M: Anybody want to adopt an obnoxious xenomorph?
S: I plead guilty, please don't give me away D:
RP: How can you insult him like that and not get killed??
S: It's more fun to make her squirm
RP:
S: Watch out, they are multiplying

S: Dear humans, you can have as much fun with making xeno porn as you want
S: But IF you want to be biologically accurate for the love of Charles Darwin don't put tits on xenos
S: I see that you are (weirdly) obsessed with boobs, but we are not mammals
M: Please don't tell me that you are watching porn, while I'm in the same room.
S: Purely for science!

S: THE FUCK
S: WHITE SHIT EVERYWHERE
S: WEATHER BROKEN
S: THE FUCK IS HAPPENING
S: IS THIS THE END
S: apparently not?
S: SPARKLY WOOOOOOO
S: WHITE SPARKLY SHIT COOOOLD NOPEDY NOPE D:
M: Is it snowing cocaine or did you have too much sugar again?

S: Mourose convinced me to go outside
S: White shit fun
S: Cooooold though
M: Awwww, I'll aks Lilly to knit you a sweater
S: With all these things on my torso she'd win my eternal respect
M: Stop texting in the bath tub.

S: Time for some biology fun facts that nobody asked for!
S: Female xenomorphs have a THIRD set of teeth
RP1: Only females? Does it mean...
S: Yes
RP1: STOP GIVING ME NIGHTMARES!!!
S: So you never stick your dick between teeth
M: So you are horny on main again.
RP2: Slyth sets new standards for horny on main.
S: Call guinness

[Codo]

Da ich fleißig gemalt habe, gebe ich mir noch eine Runde.

Es sollte klar sein, dass das alles zu einem späteren Zeitpunkt passiert. Zum Zeitpunkt der jetzigen Comics ist Slyth noch eingesperrt und zu Tode gelangweilt, und überhaupt ist alles doof.

S: Dafuq is trophy hunting
S: Whenever I think we are a shit species, humanity is like YOOO HOLD MY BEER

S: Craving pancakes
RP1: You eat pancakes???
M: Yeah, he has a sweet tooth.
S: SUuuUUUuuuGaaaAAAAAAAAARrrr
M: Guess who is actually quite an opportunistic omnivore.
S: SSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!111!!!!!
M: And where are all the cookies I bought yesterday?
S: uuhhhhh
M: BUSTED
S: Shit
RP1: STOP BEING SO CUTE
S: Why
P1: I can't handle it
S: Practice. You will adapt.
RP2: Don't you worry that people call you cute all the time?
S: I LIKE CUTE
RP1: So you COULD survive on a vegetarian diet?
S: Stop.
M: OMG, he just used a full stop on twitter. End of debate.
RP1: Just food for thoughts.
S: You can already consider yourself extremely lucky that I don't take your thoughts for food. Fuck off.
M: Aggression level 6/10. Careful.
RP2: 6/10??
M: You have no idea.

M: Since xenos rely on larger animals to reproduce, it's not so surprising that they are rather flexible about their diets. Avoides a conflict, if resources are scarce.
S: IF!
S: Cookies though...
M: But you don't want to be around a xeno that doesn't get to hunt.
S: I might get a little moody
M: That's putting it mildly

M: Leave him alone, folks. Go vegetarian or vegan, if that's you thing. But don't tell a ferocious apex predator to chew on carrots.
S:

 



M: He's faster than a cheetah and his territory spans hundreds of miles. The reason why he is so chill around here is that he also gets to hunt.
M: Trust me, I know firsthand how unbearable and instable he was, when he was locked up. A xeno that doesn't get to hunt is like an orca in a pool. He might survive (for a while), but he'd get seriously neurotic from boredom and not having an outlet for his high energy and aggression.
S: I love it when you go into full "don't mess with my homies" mode
M: I'm just trying to avoid you going into IMGONNAEATYOURFACE mode.
S: Come on. Even in my worst times I was not like that.
M: (sigh) I know. I just don't enjoy showing others that I care.
S: Awwwww

M: And he also already hunts and eats less meat than he used to.
S: Thanks to cookies, video games and music
M: Let's all be VERY thankful for that.
S: And "exercise" :>
M: Behave.
S: Eep

[THE video]

RP1: What was that noise?
S:


RP1: The bisexual energy is strong in this one.
S:
RP2: Homosexuality is unnatural.
S: My species' natural procreation involves interspecies rape, forced impregnation and lethal birth.
RP3: Uh, thank you for comparing homosexuality to rape.
S: I did WHAT
RP3: You said they were both natural
S: They are. So is a LOT of sick shit. Just look into a biology book.
RP3: SICK SHIT
M: [shitstorm incoming]
S: RP1 equalled natural to ethical, NOT ME
S: Sweet mother nature is not a good argument for or against anything
S: Ugh this is tedious
M: Welcome to the internet.

S: So let me sing you the song of my people
S: meeoOOOowww meoowww meemeeeee meEEEEewww
RP: Reading this tweet in my head...it's so fucking cute.
S: I kinda like being in your head
M: SLYTH
RP: asdasdhjgajgff
S: It was meant in the most innocent way
M: Suuuuuure


RP: So xenos are basically cats
M: Oversized but similar enough
S: That's what she said
M:



S: [bites fingers and wheezes]
M: STOP IT. NOW.
S: Make me

[Codo]

Keine Ahnung, ob es jemand liest. Mir macht es Spaß. Comic ist aber auch bald fertig.

RP: Why are you always fighting :/
M: Don't worry, we are just playing
S: Just playing
M:

S:



S: I don't even prey on pets ors domestic animals. I only go after wild animals that have outgrown natural population density due to a lack of predators and GUESS WHO HUNTED THESE PREDATORS TO EXTINCTION. Why is everybody so butthurt.
M: Because you are STEALING THEIR ANIMALS waaaaaaaaaaaa
S: You hoomans really think you own everything on this planet. But when it's about the destruction that you cause, nobody wants to take responsibility.
RP1: You don't belong here.
S: What a curious statement from a white american
RP2: But you have to admit that there might be unforseen consequences when you invade our ecosystems.
S: You mean something like mass extinction, rising CO2 levels, poisoning of soil, water and air, melting of polar ice, destruction of habitats for turning them into farmland, ocean acidification, billions of animals locked up for cheap meat production?
S: And I don't even HAVE to care. My species is evolved to live under much more dire conditions. This planet is so rich in resources, it's still like paradise for me.
M: Not if humanity continues like that...
S: Still good enough. We take what is left behind.
RP3: If you ever get too close to my home or my cattle, you will meet my gun.
S: Do you really think I'm scared of your toys. And I already said that I don't hunt your cattle.
RP5: You need a hunting licence for killing wildlife. See you in court.
S: A WHAT
M:

S: Your legal systems don't apply to me. You can be VERY thankful I don't do what I CAN do. Unlike hoomans, who do what they think they can get away with. And I could get away with EVERYTHING.
S: I will do whateverthefuck I want, and you can't do anything to stop me.

M: I think this is what it's all about. Hurting egos. You pushed them off their imaginary throne.
RP6: Nuke them from space.
S: Cool idea. I'm in Hamburg.
M: NO NO NO DON'T GIVE THEM IDEAS!!

S: That was the last time I engaged with idiots.


M: I found your long lost twin!

RP:
S: At least THIS camera man showed some sympathy
S: That bird knows some filthy words


S: Human language is so fucking ambiguous and convoluted.
S: First all I understood was

S: But then I made progress

RP1: Learning a second language. I feel your pain.
RP2: Your an animal your not really writing this
S: You're. And BTW

RP: How long did it take you to learn English?
S: Three months
RP: No way
S: But I already knew German. Switching to English wasn't that difficult, once I was used to the overall weirdness.
RP1: Du sprichst auch Deutsch? ECHT JETZT?
RP2: Können Sie bitte was auf Deutsch sagen?
S: Warum liegt hier überhaupt Stroh rum?
S: Warum liegt hier überhaupt Stroh Rum? Völlig andere Bedeutung. Eure Sprachen treiben mich noch in den Wahnsinn.
M: Du hast aber auch deinen Spaß.
S: Nyargh. Wenn ich nicht gerade eine Hirnblutung bekomme.
S: "Ist den gar gar nichts gar?"
S: Und bitte nicht siezen. Sonst fange ich noch an, mich selbst ernst zu nehmen.

P: What kind of head voice should I use for your tweets?
S: Elmo
M: What

RP: Why you so horny
S: Females usually outnumber us. Do the math.
S: Not that females are the only option
M: OVERSHARING TIME

S: Not everybody is into sharing, though

RP: I thought only queens are fertile.
S: The matriarch's pheromones just keeps the warriors sterile and stops them from evolving into queens.
RP: And why do sterile warriors have a sex drive?
S: Why do human females keep the few fertile days secret, while they are sexually available for the whole month?
S: Many species have sex not just for procreation but also stress release, bonding, fun.
S: Ask your closest relatives, the bonobos
RP2: It's a sin to have sex without the intention to have children.
S: Dafuq is a sin
M: Imagine feeling bad about something, not because it harms anybody, but just because somebody told you so.
S: HOOMANS

S: Dear ladies and gentlemen, I feel flattered by your interest, but no you won't get to see my dick

M: I CAN'T BREATH

M: [photo of Slyth] Best pokémon ever, but sooo hard to catch
S: Try throwing fruit at my crotch
M: I should not text with you at work. I have so much explaining to do.
S: Did it work at work?
M: What?
S: Explaining
M: No

RP: Since you don't wear any clothes, where do you keep your phone?
S: You don't want to know, dude
S: Thanks for noticing my nakedness

RP: Cut your finger nails
S: Why
RP: You look like a woman
S: You make it sound like it was a bad thing
S: I also need them for traction
S: At 90 mph inertia is a bitch
M: I've just been in this place before
S: Higher on the streets
M: And I know it's my time to go
S: ARGH now I have this song stuck in my head. Thanks.
M: Ehehehehehehe

[cybie]

Zumindest habe ich mich sehr über die Videos/Bilder amüsiert.

[Codo]

S: Mourose sent me this and I'm sharing it with you so I don't have to suffer a brain aneurysm alone
 

M: Best music to blast out of a convertible car while cruising a crowded city on a hot summer day
S: NOW I'm starting to like it

S: Fucking hell, you stupid game!
S: I'm not driving a car, I AM that fast!
RP1: Don't tell me you play Pokémon Go
S: Problem?
RP1: Well, I didn't expect that you'd play such a stupid game...
RP2: You are so lame, man
S: I'm so sorry to disappoint. Please tell me how I can become more badass. Do you want me to play "gotta catch 'em all" with humans instead?
RP1: Uuuuuuhmmmm
M: Slyth, don't play with the twitter kids, when you are hangry.
S: HOW DID YOU....oh

S: I can imitate some pokémon sounds
M: I never thought you'd admit it
S: I could purr like a tiny kitten, my badass level will always be over 9000
M: If you put it that way...

RP: OK but now I really need to know if you CAN purr like a kitten
S: A big kitten, but yes (kinda)
RP: Awwwwww
M: It sounds less cute than you might think.
S: (snarl) I AM CUTE!!!!!

M: Slyth a screechy harpy most of the time, but he CAN produce clean and hauntingly beautiful siren-like calls.
M: DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW LOUD THESE CALLS ARE? You can hear them from ten miles away.
S: That's exactly what they are for

RP: Don't you worry about giving away your position?
S: Did Stuka pilots worry?
M: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah
S: Exactly
RP: This has just reached new levels of nope.
S: If we don't want our presence to be known, we stay silent. Duh.

S: I have a visceral hatred for Mr. Mime
S: Why is Europe cursed with a creepy ass clown
M: What is an "ass clown", though
S: A close relative of the intelligence lacking ass toe that you hurt this morning

M: Fun facts about xenos:
- it's super super SUPER hard to gain their trust and respect
- if you succeed, congratulations: You now deal with somebody loyal, super needy and clingy, who needs CONSTANT attention and validation
- hyperaware and yet easily understimulated
- so expect shenanigans
- always looking for a play fight
- intelligent, curious and cunning, will outsmart you for the lulz
- sensitive, emotional and whiney
- eat brain slushies
- but will also steal your food
- so many body fluids, some of them silicone based, so very hard to wash out
- love warm water, so expect them to occupy the bathtub for HOURS
- smell surprisingly...nice?
- super sensitive to noise
- but LOOOOUUUD screeching, hissing, howling
S: So think twice if you want to buy your kids one for Christmas
M: Offended?
S: Na. It's all true.

M: Xenos just sneak around when they are hunting. Otherwise these things are NOISY AF. Expecially when you are trying to get some sleep. The screaming is pretty accurate, too.

S: Things.
M: My favourite thing in the world.
S:


S: Big cities suck
M: It was your idea to join me on this stupid business trip
S: Now I understand why you didn't want to go
S: I'm near the park and bored. Does anybody want to take a midnight walk/run with me? I'll keep you safe and won't bother you.
RP: Are you even for real?
S: Here's your chance to find out
M: Do it, ladies. Being outside at night is a magical experience. You can trust him. You have my word.

P: Rennst du eigentlich absichtlich in unsere Blitzer?
S: 143 km/h, neuer Rekord. Woohooo.
P: Einen Strafzettel ausstellen können wir dir wohl nicht. Pass bloß auf, dass du keine Unfälle verursachst.
S: Meep Meep

RP: Wieso ist die Polizei so nett zu dir?
S: Ich hab ihnen mal geholfen
RP: Will ich wissen wobei?
S: Nur wenn du deinen Tag versaut haben willst
RP:
S: Nur so viel: WIR würden uns das nicht gegenseitig antun

S: Seriously, what is it about human males and their obsession with milk glands?

S: Do they all suffer collectively from some kind of infantilism fetish?
S: I don't get it

M: Slyth... 
S: What?
M: Stop making sense.

[Codo]

Ja, es nimmt etwas von meiner Produktivität weg, die ich für das Zeichnen benutzen könnte. Andererseits würde ich die Zeit wahrscheinlich sowieso nicht dafür nutzen, da ich diese kurzen Dialoge immer mal zwischendurch schreiben kann, während ich für das Malen mir einen ganzen Block Zeit nehmen muss, für den ich mich dann umso mehr motivieren muss.

Jetzt fühle ich mich schon schlecht, weil ich was mache.

S: I should probably say something like "take me to your leader", but I'm not impressed with your choices.
S: I like a few of you, but considering how many of you voted for a full-bodied anal prolapse as the US president, I'm not sure about humanity in general.
S: Why do you almost always vote for the biggest idiots and most ruthless assholes as your leaders?
M: Making friends again?
S: Pissing off the assholes. Hopefully.

S: Something that is truly bugging me. How do I flip off annoying hoomans? With the third or the fourth finger? Both? Send help.
RP: Uhm, just use the middle finger?
S: I have six fingers.
RP: Oh.

M: You should learn to play the piano.
S: That's a fucking great idea!

M: I think I just played myself. 

S: I thought there was an obvious solution to the middle finger problem, since ovens have four racks, but recipes often tell you to bake on the middle rack.
M: One day I will be annoyed of your fussiness and smartassery.
S: Today is not the day

RP: A xenomorph talking about oven racks. Now I've seen everything.
S: DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN MAKE YOUR OWN COOKIES


M: What did you think they were coming from?
S: The supermarket? The cookie tree?
S: Seriously, the concept of food that takes ASSEMBLY. Humans are weird.
M: Ever tried plain flour?
S: You have a point.

RP: What is a group of xenomorphs called?
RP1: A slutwalk
S:

S: The official term is "a nightmare"
M: And by "official" you mean that you just made that up.
S: Does anybody want to argue with my authority?

RP: Who would win in a fight, a drone or a warrior?
S: The warrior would definitely win. Since they defend the hive, they are built for close combat.
S: Drones are scouts and hunters, so we are faster and more agile. So if they wanted to fight us, they'd have to catch us first.
S: But why would we fight against each other?
M: Money, religion, ideologies...but mostly money.
S:


M: Watching Slyth playing Forsaken on a beamer. I'm getting seriously nauseous...
RP: Why do you play a game from 1998 and not something recent?
S: 360 degree movements! Blowing up robots with disco lights! 90s breakbeat!
S: They just don't make games like this any longer
M: I'm pretty sure that you chose Nutta as your biker just to piss me off
S: Na, I just like his stats
RP2: What level?
S: Tloloc Catacombs
M: The level where the computer shouts "incoming incoming incoming" all the fucking time.
S: I do what I can, but there are just too many at once on my ass!
RP3: Why does every conversation with you sound like porn dialogue?
S: Wishful thinking

P: Wie kann unsere beste Spürnase eigentlich ohne Nase riechen?
S: Alle hinlegen und Hände über den Kopf, die Polizei macht Flachwitze.
S: Als nächstes heisst es noch, ich sei blind.
M: Oder ein Mädchen.
S: Menschliche Anatomie stelle ich mir sehr unpraktisch vor


RP: Wieso hilfst du eigentlich der Polizei?
S: Hat sich mal ergeben als eine Verwandte von Mourose verschwunden ist. Ich bin immer froh, wenn ich was zu tun habe.
S: "The chase is better than the catch"
S: Und ich kann mir die Beine vertreten.

[cybie]

S: Something that is truly bugging me. How do I flip off annoying hoomans? With the third or the fourth finger? Both? Send help.
RP: Uhm, just use the middle finger?
S: I have six fingers.
RP: Oh.

Ja... "oh" dachte ich mir auch.
Cartoonfiguren hingegen könnten das.  

: I thought there was an obvious solution to the middle finger problem, since ovens have four racks, but recipes often tell you to bake on the middle rack.

Stimmt!!!


In Deutsch lese ich das irgendwie lieber, weil deine Comics auch immer so waren.