[DJ Full]

Controlled chaos is very different from torturing an instrument without skills.

Precisely, back then I could phrase but I couldn't hit correct pitches. So it wasn't "controlled chaos" but rather controlling one aspect and allowing chaos in another

I can't imagine being an inspiration to anybody.

You don't have to imagine that, it's enough if it works on other people

My flaws are so painfully obvious to me that it numbs me. I even fail at attempts of improvement.

As the authors we always hear more than the audience. There's no single piece where I did everything right. It's only bad if we leave these flaws be - in the end nobody else can fix them.

I got bored with my music. It always ends up as the just same catchy stuff. Your music has much more complexity and depth than mine. I push myself at the moment to paint and make music, but I end up hating the results.

You need a point. You always need to know what you're writing or painting about. I did various music because people and events I wrote for differed from each other. I had a friend who visited China, I used pentatonics for him. I had a trip to Jerusalem, I did Jewish scale (or kind of). I attended a kayak flow, all sound simulates water. If you made a space level where things fly in loop, there's nothing wrong with looped electronic soundtrack as long as it fits the intention. I liked this result, if you don't like it and hear something is missing, then it doesn't have to mean the idea is wrong, but maybe the execution just needs a fix. Sometimes I didn't like what I made but then one slight change of instrument could make a big difference and render this tune better.