DJ Full presents
CONVERSATION UNFINISHED BUSINESS
Featuring epic characters of Tester and Level Designer

Several weeks later, a tester's friend finds a secret in the level and shares the info about this. The tester didn't expect such a thing to occur in this game, so he hopes at least the secret is something worth to see. Thus, he decides to force himself to replay the whole game. 12 hours later, after hopeless running back and forth through endless corridors, he gives up. So, another message appears in the builder's ICQ.


Tester:
It's me again. I returned to your game.

Level designer:
How sweet! Thank you! I knew some people will play my level several times. But I've never expected you to become my fan!

Tester:
I am trying to find your secret.

Level designer:
Which one of them?

Tester (confused):
Are there more?!

Level designer:
Yep! There are 12 secrets in total.

Tester:
12? Where are they? I believe my jaw is the first one of them... as I've just picked it up from the floor!

Level designer:
Have you got your old savegames?

Tester:
All three of them.

Level designer:
Wow! You didn't use all slots?

Tester:
No. Mostly, I was using one of them.

Level designer:
It means either I am a bad builder, or you are a good player. And I am not a bad builder, so...

Tester:
OK, OK. Ad rem. What am I supposed to do?

Level designer:
Hop in the hole in the very beginning of the game.

Tester:
Is there a hole? Sorry, I didn't notice any.

Level designer:
Of course you didn't. It's a secret, isn't it? The entrance is unmarked.

The tester checks every single tile in the cave. Nothing happens. Then, he tries out the surrounding illegal slopes and - after getting frozen in sliding animation several times - he finally chooses the correct ramp, to slide down onto a flat part of the floor. He falls into the hidden pit and hears OO5.wav played. Satisfied, the player follows the revealed corridor, passing by a skeleton lying on the ground. As soon as the tester sees open space, he sends the builder another message.

Tester:
What's wrong with that secret mountain? It looks weird and boxy.

Level designer:
You are looking at Chocieborowicki Wierch, located in Szczebrzeszyn Zajedwabisty mountain range (as a reward for finding the secret, I wanted to show you a part of my country).

Tester:
You mean this is an exact copy?

Level designer:
Of course. I was refering to original photos of the mountain.

Tester:
So why is this thing made of unitextured, regular blocks?

Level designer:
It's basalt lava. Congealing, it formes rectangular columns. So this is how it should look like.

Tester (several minutes later):
OK, I can understand the lava... but this place seems to be completely uninhabited. I found no plants, nor animals...

Level designer:
You are not supposed to. Weather conditions are so extreme that no animal nor plant can survive here.

Tester:
What conditions? I can see no snow, rain, nor fog...

Level designer:
They also can't live here. Due to their own conditions.

Tester (opens his eyes wider):
Wow. Revolutionary. But I've just found a bird's nest... What did you say about animals unable to survive here?

Level designer:
All of them except a chocieborowickian-wierchian sweetpotato-feathered eagle.

Tester:
What?

Level designer:
A mythical, mystical, legendary creature. It is mythical, mystical and legendary because of the fact it CAN survive on the top of Chocieborowicki Wierch, unlike any other animal.

Tester:
Mhm. There's an egg, but I can't pick it up.

Level designer:
You've found a nest of the last of those predators. You can't take its egg, as the specimen is endangered and protected by international law.

Tester:
Isn't Lara used to cause animal extinction? And where is that "last predator"?

Level designer:
Inside the egg.

Tester (confused):
OK, but what about the mother?

Level designer:
You remember the skeleton?

Tester:
That one I passed by in the corridor leading here?

Level designer:
Yes. That one. It's the mother's.

Tester:
I thought it was rather the bird's prey... as it was a human skeleton.

Level designer:
Treat this level as a post-apocalyptical vision. Someone nuked us, so we're all either mutated, or dead. Or both. So no wonder the mother has mutated, probably during her last flight... and fell on the ground as a human. Humans can't fly.

Tester:
Indeed. So, putting everything together: I assume a player has to find this secret to know what's the point in this game.

Level designer:
This is also a part of the reward. Knowing what the game is about.

The player stands up, walks in circles for five minutes, returns in front of the screen and replies.

Tester:
Understood. Going for the next secrets.

Level designer:
Wait! You don't need to go anywhere.

Tester:
Are you telling me you made a direct connection from one secret to another?

Level designer:
No.

The player breathes a sigh of relief, but all remnants of his hope vanish as soon as the builder continues.

Level designer:
...I made direct connections to ALL of them.

The player falls down from his chair, slowly raises from the floor, and, with his fingers shaking, replies.

Tester:
No-one has ever done that before.

Level designer:
You see yourself how unique it is. It will move my level straight to the Hall Of Fame!

Tester:
It won't. Sorry if I bring you down, but this way of creating secrets is simply frustrating for a player.

Level designer:
Why? My secrets tell a separate, alternative story! You can either play the game normal way, or follow the path of light!

Tester:
The... path of light?

Level designer:
Didn't you notice the secret mountain is bright - on the contrary with the whole rest of the level?

Tester:
I did. I had to adjust the monitor settings again to stand this lighting.

Level designer:
And that is exactly what the point is! Claustrophobic main gameplay thread versus overwhelming brightness of secrets! Behold that epic contrast! Dark, dark, dark, dark, dark... and then WHAAAM!! BRIGHT, BRIGHT, ULTIMATE LIGHT! Players will be shocked!

Tester:
I am already. So, where to for the other secrets?

Level designer:
A walk-through wall. Just behind the egg.

The player tries to walk through the wall, but he bounces off the nest.

Tester:
You set the wrong collision!

Level designer:
I didn't. You need to dozy through.

Tester:
Looking at your last message and still can't believe it. Either I misread or you miswrote it. Pardon - dozy? DOZY?

Level designer:
It's intended. For you must be like that eagle. The nest gives a hint. A nest belongs to a bird, birds can fly, and flight means DOZY. I thought this line of relations is obvious to an average player.

The player uses his head to make a small hole in the wall near his chair. In real life, not in the level. Then, he dozies through the wall. In the level, not in real life. Following another corridor, he triggers 005th sound... 11 times... so he thinks "Thank God it was shorter than I expected". Immediately after appearing in the next open space, at the base of another mountain, he sends a message to the builder.

Tester:
That second mountain looks exactly like the previous one!

Level designer:
It IS the previous one. You've just travelled back in time. That's why the eagle mama's skeleton is missing. Watch out for the family.

Tester:
Too late. They killed me. Just respawned.

Level designer:
Never mind. They're immortal anyway. Only a nuclear bomb can kill them, as you know from the previous secret...

Tester:
So why do you want me to watch out for those opponents?

Level designer:
There is a nuke at the top of the mountain. Grab it.

The player thinks: "Finally, some action!" Avoiding the default harpies, hardly imagining they are endangered chocieborowickian-wierchian sweetpotato-feathered eagles (protected), he gets to the top of the mountain and catches the default Pharos Knot. After saving the game, he looks for a slot for the "nuke", but he can't find any. He even gets back to the nest and tries to place the pillar inside it - without any effect.

Tester:
I can't use this freakin' bloody bomb!

Level designer:
Of course you can't! It will be used in the sequel!

The builder thinks: "A SEQUEL?! Holy Chalice Mesh, NO!!", but manages to calm down for the last time. And asks politely.

Tester:
Is there anything more to see or do in this part?

Level designer:
No. That's why I called it "Chocieborowice Unfinished Business" - as this is a business no-one can finish yet. You've just found an alternative ending, bringing atmosphere of the next part to you. That's what I wanted to do - to leave players in a "can't wait to nuke you" state.

Tester:
And You have succeeded. Truly, I can't wait to nuke you.

Level designer:
You see? I knew I will achieve what I wanted to achieve. I've been thinking a lot for several weeks, adjusting lighting and texturing, tuning sounds...

Tester:
...misplaced... Level designer:
...but tuned anyway, creating secrets, enhancing enemies, and finally - testing the game multiple times for over 20 hours - so I can guarantee I've put as much effort as I could...

Tester:
...to make certain that stress level is pushed to the limits exceeding NGLE capacities? BTW - why did you waste NGLE for a project like this?

Level designer:
Because the game wasn't made on my PC. It was my brother's... and he had NGLE installed already, so he let me use it.

Tester (excited, supposing he is about to know some famous, esteemed author):
You have a bro building levels? Do I know him? What is his nickname?

Level designer:
DJ Full.

Tester (disappointed):
Never heard of a guy.

Level designer:
He taught me everything.

Tester (uneasy):
You learnt from him? No wonder this guy have never released anything.

Level designer:
Don't worry about that. He will do it. Will you test his game? Pretty, pretty please!

Various images from the tester's whole life emerge in his head. He's really frightened now... But he is a brave man, so he agrees.

Tester:
Will do. I've seen so many crap levels that I should handle it.

Level designer:
You've seen nothing yet. I know my brother.

Tester (afraid):
Am I supposed to be afraid?

Level designer:
Ask him.

Tester:
OK. Bye, then.

Level designer:
Happy raiding, dude!

And so it happened. The tester messaged to DJ Full, and the conversation went so crazy no-one could describe it - even a guy who was a part of it... even me. So the next chapter will remain unwritten.

MERRY CHRISTMAS
from DJ Full